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Fear: An Unfortunate Box


I am currently in a box - a metaphorical box, but a box nonetheless. I've recently done a major overhaul of my life goals. Am I possibly having a midlife crisis? Maybe. Regardless, I will describe this awful box that I've placed myself in and how I'm trying to claw my way out.


This box has teeth - painful, sharp teeth. The worst thing about this box is that fears bounce against the walls and don't escape. This is my attempt to open the box from the inside.


Ten years ago, I entered college to major in music, only to drop out due to having a mental breakdown. I started work with a company, which I've been with for nine years now. I married my high school sweetheart, and birthed a loving little boy who warms my heart. I've attended therapy and take medication to work on my mental health issues. I recently bought a house.


Now I'm back in school in an attempt to earn my bachelors in psychology, and then from there, become a certified life coach, and eventually get certified by the ICF (International Coach Federation).


It's not impossible. Not by any means. Still, fear digs its claws into me.


What if people think I'm a fraud when I eventually get there? What will people at my day job think? How can I be successful in the future with how many mistakes I've made in the past? What if things don't work out? What will people think of me, will they think I'm weird? Will people look at my mental health issues and use that as an excuse to think that I can't help others?


These fears and doubts bounce around inside of this box. Thankfully, I have a gift of looking at things - even my own thoughts - from multiple perspectives.


I won't be a fraud - I'm not a fraud currently, and I won't be then.

I can't let other people determine my future for me based off of what they think about me.

My mistakes have made me stronger. I am more resilient now. Doors have been closed, yes, but better doors have opened.

Things will work out. I just have to be disciplined, consistent, and stick with my goals.

People will think I'm weird sometimes. That's okay - it's not a reflection of my worth as a person.

I can help others, regardless of my mental health issues. Those who don't believe I can will have nothing to do with me or the people I do end up helping.


So, the box has been opened, and the fears are now out in the world instead of bouncing around inside of my head. I've voiced them, and now I've dealt with them.


What fears are bouncing around inside of your box today? How will you change your thinking to open the box? Let me know in the comments.


Many Blessings,


Arianne


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