As I reflect on how I've handled my life so far, I realize I've tried to justify many reasons that I've not gotten to a place where I feel satisfied with my life. Finally, though, I think I'm making some progress.
When I was 12 years old, I created a website called 'The Advice Queen.' I believe it is no longer active, however that website was the humble beginnings (er, maybe not so humble) of my aspiration to help other people overcome challenges. Of course, what did I know? I was 12. But believe it or not, I did help some people, even though I knew nothing about life.
Everyone, no matter their age, no matter their life circumstances, has something to offer - inspiration that they can share with others. Even my four year old shares his wisdom with me, and reminds me to look at things in very different ways - good ways that inspire my own life.
I thought my life purpose was just a gimmick for a long time (how many starving life coaches are out there? Probably quite a few), but I realize that it's exactly where I need to be to help people to the best of my ability.
The following thoughts have lead to my own self-sabotage, and it's why I've not lived the best and most fulfilling life up until now, when I've made a choice to go back to my original, true calling of guiding others and spreading inspiration to those around me. I may not be 12 anymore, but I need to revisit with that 12 year old and take up the mantle once again of doing whatever I can to help others around me who are in need. Maybe that 12 year old is helping me like she helped so many others way back when.
Three Thoughts That Lead to Self-Sabotage
1 - I Need to Satisfy Other People's Vision of My Life Path
I don't know how many times I've altered my life path because I was being guided by others into doing things just because I was good at them, and they thought I should pursue that particular path. I'm sure it was done with the very best of intentions, and at the same time, a rock that has no foundation will fall. I was that rock. I didn't know what my life path should be, and instead of taking the time to truly figure it out for myself, I let others fill that cup with whatever they wanted to fill it with. Whether it be parents, teachers, or mentors, don't let others fill that cup with their version of you and your life path. Strive for health, wellness, and success, but make it yours. Own it. You don't need to satisfy other people's vision of your life path. You need to satisfy your own. Lesson: Being a people pleaser never got anyone anywhere that, in the end, they actually liked.
2 - My Worth is Determined by my Achievements, so I Need to Seek Achievement Wherever I Can
First of all, this will lead you down a deep dark rabbit hole of depression and feelings of worthlessness. I know, because this is how I've operated for years. I've learned that if you think this way, no matter how many achievements you attain, you will never feel satisfied. It's like a horse chasing multiple carrots. Even if you figure out how to get one of the carrots, the other carrots will lead you astray, and guess what? You'll never get even one of the carrots. So what should our worth be determined by? Just because I was achieving things, it didn't mean I was making a positive impact on others around me. Sure, I would sometimes, even thinking this way. Overall, though, my personal feelings about myself should at least be determined by the positive impact that I have on those around me. And perhaps 'worth' is the wrong word altogether - after all, we all have worth - we are all human. Truly, if I base my worth on anything at all, it should at least be based off of being a decent and compassionate human being to others around me.
3 - I Am Not Good Enough
Fill in the blank with whatever might be your ultimate goals - the thought of not being good enough for it will ruin everything you work so hard for. I don't know how many times this thought has plagued me. It's taken me several years to realize, hey, you know what? I am good enough. I was good enough since the day I was born.
But to the point - what has caused me to think such a horrid thing about myself? The biggest cause I've found for this thought is me hanging on to my every failure and never letting them go. That is so unfair to myself, and guess what? It's unfair to everyone else around me, who could benefit from the services I have the ability to offer - if not now (due to lack of training), then surely down the road. But if I don't let go now, I will never move forward and get to that point.
What self-sabotaging thoughts have plagued you and your own life goals? How have you overcome them, and if not, how do you plan on overcoming them?
Many Blessings Dear Readers,